bwep bwep bwep

million dollar idea here folks

drew: All my friends call me Beermoney Muscles.
me: i wish i could be that cool… all my friends call me pissbroke wimpdick.
drew: If you ignore the meaning behind Pissbroke Wimpdick, it almost sounds like a character from a Charles Dickens story.
me: or harry potter.
drew: They’re both British, so it’s pretty much the same thing. 
          Professor Wimpdick. Has a nice ring to it.
          What would he teach? 
me: defense against the gay arts.
drew: *nod of approval*
          And what would he look like?
          I think I’ve found his wand. http://i.imgur.com/mIb3I.jpg 
me: a typical british dandy fop. limp-wristed and decked out in victorian finery. like hugh laurie’s character in blackadder.
      perfect. giant rubber horse dildo wand. its core? a hair from liberace and a bunch of horse spooge.
drew: Someone should retcon the entire Harry Potter series to have this guy in there. Not as a main character, but he’ll just pop up occasionally like the other teachers that no one cares about.
me: let’s make this magic happen, drewbie. 

notmusa:

i’m sort of sad it’s ending!

not too sad though

this basically sums up house and wilson’s relationship in the best way possible.

flyer for a sweet shindig happening here in e-ville. tons of bands, booze, and artists, not to mention, THE PRETTY THINGS PEEPSHOW!! the first time they came to evansville i was blown away. they put on such a fantastic show — burlesque, vaudeville, sideshow acts! CANNOT WAIT. if you ever get the chance to see them, DO IT!

MADRA ALLTA// may 2012
a postcard-sized watercolor painting for a postcard exchange with an awesome group of female tattooists. 

this is me

so this happened last night

Danielle and I TXT a Lot

Me: im gay pls tuch my butt lmao
Dumbyell McDumbass: ill tonguepunch ur brown balloon knot til ur balls fall off n drop on tha flor n a dog eatz tham
Dumbyell McDumbass: not jsut any dog. a gay dog. the wurlds gayest dog. its actually just elton jon eatin ur balls
Me: lmbo yea do a mruder on my bitty balls and make dem atrophy n die n turn blak and fall off ii want tht gay dog to fuk me wwit a dildo
Dumbyell McDumbass: elton jouhn tha gay dog is made of brokn glas dildos n is moer thn hapie 2 gouge ur butt open liek a jak o latern. 187 on ur gay butte
Me: my ass is dead now nigga gota desd ass lol shiiit
Dumbyell McDumbass: LAMO! ur ded. gunna cut out ur lower intestins n boil up some chitlins fo the nayberhood lololol n steal ur sweet kkicks
Me: holpy shit ur makin my butt sweeaty n sticky wantin u 2 cut me up in lil pieces n thro em in the trash lmbo
Dumbyell McDumbass: HOLPY SHIT haahahahah

with sleep came dreams. last night i walked alone in a tall building. i crept to the window. somehow i knew i had to climb along the window ledge into a window of a room with no doors, to get back something i had lost. the first few steps onto the ledge were bold, but… i looked down. i got scared of the heights, of the narrow ledge. the lights of the city were far, far below me, muddy with smog and darkness. i could feel the stone beneath my bare feet. i gripped and curled my toes onto the stone as i trembled and stumbled back to the window of which i had first stepped so confidently out. back into the comforting darkness of flat stable surfaces and withheld impulses.
those few moments on the ledge were thrilling and real.
if tonight in dreams i meet the ledge again, i’ll walk across it, confident or not, and get into the room with no doors.

vanjazmin:

Girl with Earbuds. Oil on canvas.

this is absolutely gorgeous van! holy crap those skintones, the lighting… your paintings looks better everytime i see them!

clipartcovers:

Blow Your Speakers by Manowar. Original.

clip art covers are good things.

this is how stupid i am: pictured above is the autoclave log from work. whenever a batch of equipment is autoclaved, we are required to date it, write the temperature and time elapsed, what the batch contained, and the batch number. well, people hadn’t been keeping up with putting the batch number, so i wrote a reminder on the top of a page. i only realized the misspelling four days later.
im not stuptid u r stuptid 

samu3lk:

I saw this gay as fuck hipster thing and decided to add my OWN subtle message to it by recoloring some letters.

this message touches my heart. and my vag.

i had an odd dream that i was hanging out with doug tennapel. this isn’t the first time i’ve had this kind of dream. instead of just sitting around watching TV this time, however, we went hiking, jogging?? (the only place i’ll ever be jogging is in my dreams), and enjoying the beach. then, i think, we went inside a modest beach home and doodled together. wish i could remember the doodles.
does my subconscious mind think that doug tennapel is just a rad dude, totally down to hang? why doug tennapel? sure, he was a huge influence on me and made my childhood magical. as a child, i played earthworm jim and the neverhood ad nauseum. it would be creepy to hit up tennapel and be like, “hey, dude, i had this dream that we were hanging out and uhhh… you wanna hang out?” 
i don’t see that going over very well.
that’s what happened in my sleep last night! 

http://www.anthonyherreradesigns.com/ →

do you like snowflakes? how about star wars? have you ever wanted a way to combine the two for festive holiday geekery? CHECK THIS SHIT OUT. i’m gonna be making some 2-nite.

tumblrbot asked: ROBOTS OR DINOSAURS?

ROBOT DINOSAURS, DUH. amateur question.